Just read on Justine Larbalestier’s blog that it has been International Blog Against Racism Week this week. To participate, you’re supposed to announce the fact in your blog (tick), modify your icon (it’s an LJ thing so I won’t), and “Post about race and/or racism: in media, in life, in the news, personal experiences, writing characters of a race that isn’t yours, portrayals of race in fiction, review a book on the subject, etc.”
Recently Sirexkat reminded me of this incident that happened to me many years ago. I was waiting for a bus. There were about four or five other people waiting as well. We were all doing our usual “I am waiting in my own personal universe” thing, standing there silently. (It was pre-iPod so we were left there with our own thoughts.)
A guy came up to the bus stop, displaying all the signs of being in a hurry – all flustered, looking up and down the road to see if there were any signs of a bus coming. He looked at all of us standing there. Looked down the road again. Asked the first person standing next to him: “Got the time, mate?”
“Nuh, sorry mate.”
Asked the next person. They shrug. And the next: “Sorry, I don’t have a watch.”
Looks around again. His eyes land on me, the Asian chick, on my watch-wearing wrist, flick over to the next person: “You got the time there?” Nope, they tell him.
He looks at me again. Looks away. I wait for it. Is he going to ask or not? Should I put him out of his misery and just tell him?
I wait. He sighs loudly, looks at my watch.
I cross my arms so there’s no chance of him deciphering the time. Wait for it – is he going to ask or not? (I don’t know why I did this – maybe because he asked everyone but me? I suppose I could have just spoken up as soon as I realised no one else there was wearing a watch…)
He sighs again and does nothing. I decide I am not going to cooperate, put him out of his misery, tell him the time.
Eventually the bus arrives.
He never got the time because he couldn’t bring himself to say something to the nip/chink/slope/slanty eyed bitch. Even if he thought I couldn’t speak English, he could have done that universal point-at-wrist gesture which says it all. I could have just shattered all his prejudices and told him the time. Maybe I might have, on a different day.
Sadly, there’s quite a few stories I could tell here. But this incident, this person amazed me – if a black/yellow/brown/somehow-visibly-different-from-him person could have saved him from drowning [insert dangerous situation here], would he have refused their help?
8 Comments
Some people are so astoundingly pathetic.
You pose a good question there. He probably would’ve chosen to drown. Being saved by a non-Caucasian person would’ve been akin to death anyway, no?
Oh wow, that story resonates with me. I have similar experiences whilst waiting to be served when I’d be overlooked. *grrr*
Though most times, the white person that the counter person incorrectly tries to serve first would point out that I was there before them. Then all is well with the world again.
Skribe and I were on a train last year when some guy began mouthing off at a group of Chinese students next to him for not talking in English. Skribe told him he was being offensive. An exchange of views ensued. When the guy realised skribe wouldn’t be bullied and nobody else on the train shared his view about the English language, he stomped off at the next stop.
They’re rare, but they’re there.
I wonder what I’ll do if I ever encounter racism. Will I get angry? If I do, I must remind to tell myself, “Anger is a form of punishment that we inflict upon ourselves for someone’s stupidity”.
Hi CW,
I wonder if this guy has ideas about who it’s reasonable to ask a favour of? Like you might only ask family to pick you up when your car breaks down, or you might only ask a few mates to help you shift house, this guy might only feel comfortable asking people he thinks are the ‘same’ as him – people he feels he ‘knows’ without knowing – for the time? Lol, sounds ridiculous now I’ve written it down.
I know what it’s like to have people ask small favours and then apologise when they realise/remember I can’t see well and ask someone else – even though it’s no trouble for me to help. Very frustrating – it’s like they have ideas about what’s reasonable that don’t match reality. A strange kind of discrimination but discrimination nonetheless.
jl, yes, pathetic.
Mooiness, thankfully nowadays these sorts of occurences are very rare..
Toxicpurity, I agree they are out there. It’s always a jolt when you come across them…
Ivan I don’t stay angry for long (in fact I’m not even sure ‘anger’ is what I’d call it. More incredulity at how some people can be so narrowminded and ignorant.) Mostly I rouse myself enough to respond, just so they don’t think they can get away with being rude or downright nasty…
Dee, I might have dismissed it as just being that, except for the fact that he asked everybody else – and declined to say anything to me, even though he saw my watch… 🙂
Gonna play devils advocate here.
Could he have not asked cos you were a girl and he wasn’t mature enough to interact with ‘girls’?
Could he have not asked cos you looked scary and not someone he would normally approach? You did have your hair shaved and looked very non-conventional when I first met you?
Could he have reacted to your slightly reserved, possibly starting to be hostile demeanor rising out of your anticipating a ‘racist’ interaction?
I also often wonder how much racist behaviour is amplified due to the object of the reacism already feeling like they are an outsider and being sensitive to any possible negative action. From what I gather and see you rarely receive any racist ramarks or actions anymore. How much of this is due to your feeling of ‘place’ and your self confidence with it.
That said, I have never been a racial minority in my place of residence so I probably don’t truly understand it.
M, in answer to q.1, no, there were other ‘girls’ at the stop and he asked them happily enough.
q.2, me, scary? I suppose it was possible, but he wasn’t giving off this woman’s scary ergo I can’t talk to her vibes…
q.3, I don’t think so. That’s like saying being hit wouldn’t be so bad if you weren’t so sensitive to it. The problem with these sorts of interactions is that they tend to happen when you aren’t expecting them, and nothing softens the blow, so to speak. I do agree that one could walk around with a giant chip on one’s shoulder, and practically invite confrontation, but most people I know don’t do this…