September book (late)

I am horribly late, but I did read Beautiful Boy by David Sheff.

I don’t know if I enjoyed it but I did like Sheff’s writing. His story of his son’s addiction to crystal methamphetamine wasn’t exactly easy reading. He conveyed very well the sense of hopelessness and helplessness he felt, watching his son deteriorate. He is so consumed by his worry that even when he suffers a life-threatening cerebral haemorrhage that causes him to forget his own name, and where he is, thoughts of his missing son continue to torture him: “My son is in danger. I cannot forget it even now with my brain awash with toxic blood.”

Sheff doesn’t have any answers for people in the same situation. Rehabilitation is a difficult process and there are no easy fixes, no guarantees. Ultimately, he is hopeful, though:

People told me to let go of my worry because there was nothing I could do. “Put it out of your mind.” I never could. I finally learned to do the hard work it took to put it in perspective, because it does not help anyone – the addict, the rest of the family, you – when it becomes the only thing in one’s life. And so my advice: do whatever it takes – therapy, Al-Anon, lots of Al-Anon – for you to contain it. And be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Be easy on yourself and extra loving toward your spouse or partner. Do not keep secrets. As they often say in AA, you’re as sick as your secrets. Though it is not a solution, openness is a relief. Our shared stories help us remember what we’re dealing with. Addicts need ongoing reminders and support, and so do their families. It helps to read others’ stories. And it helps to write, at least it did for me. As I said, I wrote frantically. I wrote in the middle of the night and made it to morning. If I were a painter like Karen, I would have painted what I was going through. She often did. I wrote. [pp.314-315, Pocket Books/Simon & Schuster, 2008]