Life in Perth has been pretty good, even in these pandemic times, and I don’t feel like I have a lot to complain about. We haven’t had a lot of Covid-19 cases and although we have had periods of lockdown these haven’t been too protracted. I’ve been very fortunate to have been gainfully employed this whole time, and hopefully have been making some difference by doing my job as library director. Even so, I’ve found all the change and uncertainty caused by the pandemic pretty hard to deal with. The last year has been one of the most challenging I’ve had, and I don’t think I’m alone in this.
I think I’ve learned a bit about how I cope with change and uncertainty – sometimes I’ve done well, other times not so much. I guess the main thing is to notice, and to try to keep improving. Last week an uncomfortable situation happened at work, and I had to raise some issues with a senior person I respect. Luckily it was a good conversation and we were able to talk constructively about things. I was thinking about the whole situation this morning, and wondered how I might have dealt with such situations five years, or ten years ago – I would probably have been more inclined to pretend it would all blow over and have been too uncomfortable to really address things. Hopefully I have grown a bit more adept at the “difficult conversation” over the years – and yet sometimes I still feel like a novice in dealing with other people. Certainly when I reflect on how my senior colleague responded to my feedback, I admire how they remained calm and listened to me, acknowledging where they might have done things differently, and making useful suggestions about next steps, to move forward*. I felt very grateful to have a such wise and patient senior colleague.
Anyway, I was thinking about what I learned and feeling a bit amused at it all, and when I sat down to draw this morning I had an image of children – aged from 6 to around 12 – looking quizzically at me, the adult. Don’t I know how to deal with these sorts of situations now? How is it I still sometimes feel like I am making it up – badly – as I go along?
Travel has been pretty restricted these past few months, and I haven’t flown anywhere since February 2020. I didn’t realise how much I would miss travel, but perhaps I should have expected this – so many of my colleagues and friends are in Melbourne, Canberra, Sydney, and one of my sisters lives in Melbourne – and it’s been hard to not be able to see people, and I’ve really missed being able to talk with friends in person: at times I feel almost trapped here. It’s an odd feeling.
*Apologies for this vague description, I can’t break the confidence and tell all. And in any case, even if I could share the details, I don’t think they would make very interesting reading.
One Comment
Lockdown has me spending more time with my own company, and hence also more self reflective. Lockdown (several in Melbourne) has also led to increased tensions amongst myself and my colleagues, and different ways of communicating so I’ve also had some difficult conversations with people I respect this year. I try to see it as useful feedback to myself on what I could do to improve collaboration or my communication with others. Preparing yourself for a confronting conversation is hard; although assertiveness in the end leads to clearer communication it often doesn’t feel like it before or during the initial conversations. I’m grateful to the many colleagues in my team who step up repeatedly to talk through with me ways I can improve, despite the fear and discomfort it gives them. Im sure your colleagues also gain when you do so too.