Had an interesting lunchtime conversation yesterday with someone, V, who works at the same university I work at. I’ve gotten to know V because I’ve assisted some of the students V works with, and she is also studying at the moment, so I have helped her with obtaining information and updating her search skills.
Part of my job involves helping staff and research students (PhD candidates and so forth) with their research needs. I enjoy this part of my job because I get to learn a lot about the work people do, and the sorts of problems they experience. Working with research students is also really enjoyable, as I have been doing my job just long enough that I have actually been able to work with some students right from the beginning of their candidacies, struggling through the horror periods with their data, missing references and misbehaving word processors and bibliographic management software, and the agonies of analysis and writing, all the way up until the time they submit their completed thesis. I feel a sense of achievement and vicarious pleasure too, when the thesis is passed and finally arrives in the library, bound and solid. And some people even thank me in their acknowledgements, which is always very gratifying.
Anyway back to yesterday’s lunch. Somehow we ended up talking about happiness and creativity – specifically writing and the writing process. With regards to happiness we talked about our relationships (I wonder if I was too mushy about M, ah well never mind!) and work and what makes us happy (job satisfaction as opposed to lots of money).
I was amused at myself though – although I shared the fact that I get out of bed at 5 o’clock every morning, and that I use this time for reading, reflection and writing, I neglected to mention that I do a lot of this reading and writing on the computer. I don’t know why, exactly. V was amazed at the fact that I submit myself to such a regime (5am rising) but she was quite interested to hear about the stuff I do – and shared the stuff she does – and we had a good chat about what we write about and the things that help with writing. V writes a fair bit, keeps paper journals and has even won a short story competition!
Actually no, I think I know why I didn’t mention the computer aspect. I think I need to get over my innate dislike of being scorned for liking the computer. My defensiveness annoys me. Why does it bother me so much what other people think? One would think I was owning up to being a spammer, or crank phone caller, or library book thief, or some other equally reprehensible behaviour. This reaction of mine only seems to come up when talking about computers, and anything computer-related, though. I don’t seem to care so much what people think about other things I like or do or enjoy. What should I do to get over this? Any ideas? (Feel free to tell me to just get over it.)
Categories: navel-gazing
9 Comments
Unlike you, I just keep telling ppl that I do LUUURVE my computer. So much that they’d get sick of it and then it becomes a non-topic. 😀
Hehe. Try it.
I have to say, I know exactly how you feel! All my life I’ve been two things; an artsy creative guy who write stuff, draw, compose and play music, read, ponder, appreciates classical music and drink good port wine 🙂 (All the stereo-types, eh!) … and a computer guy. All those first things is what I’d like to be doing all the time, while the latter provides me with both food on the table but also lots of enjoyment: I just have a knack for computers. And I think that’s just it; traditionally, computers are for geeks and non-creative types. Either you’re a writer who use computers as a tool, or you’re a computer guy who use computers for life.
Yeah, I know, a pretty silly notion; tools are tools, and does not alter who you are, but for some reason I can’t take myself seriously in those other domains (litterature, music, art, culture) as long as I take pleasure in doing more geeky computer things. Maybe there’s a snobby Dr. Jekyl and a crude Mr. Hyde in me, an everlasting struggle? I’d say, pretty much spot on.
Why would you need to mention the tools you use when you mention that you reading and writing in the mornings. Would you particularly mention your textbook and pens if you were using those? Computers are just a tool, in a cursory conversation it shouldn’t even need to be mentioned.
That said…
Up until recently (i.e 10 years ago) computers have been a very inept tool for creative tasks. Many of the pre-computer generation would think that if you’re using a computer for creative tasks that you’re not being ‘seriously’ creative because you can’t create serious art or craft with a computer. If you’re still in the ‘old’ mindset or worried about someone elses ‘old’ mindset then you would be rightly defensive about letting people know that your are using a computer to do creative things. They might think less of your pursuits.
Nowadays though I would argue that the inverse has happenned. Using computers nowdays can allow you to be much more creative than you could ever be with using the traditional creative tools. Also I think the younger generation would be suspect of your if you *hadn’t* done it with a computer.
Funny you guys should talk about the computer as a tool, we did talk about the notebooks we use for paper journals yesterday! And are you forgetting, M, about my particular fixation with fountain pens?? We talked about notebooks, not writing implements, yesterday – hmm.. now I am wondering if I would have mentioned the pen(s) I might choose to use.
Funny you should mention all those “cultural” pursuits, too Alexander, cos I like some of them too and I find that in the “right” circles I might mention being a J.S. Bach fan (or an REM fan, or a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, or a keroncong fan…). Now that I think about it, I may have a bit of a habit of compartmentalising the myriad interests.
Mooiness I think I have established enough of a rep for having geekish interests among my colleagues, and they still roll their eyes whenever it comes up. I dunno if making them sick of it would help, but! 😛
It’s easy enough for me to get away with being a bibliophile, everyone expects librarians to like books. Maybe, the more information becomes associated with the computer as the tool for obtaining it, AND the more competent librarians become with using computers, the stereotype of librarians will change to encompass computerphilia (what’s the term for it?!) as well. Or so I hope! (I dunno if I am making sense at all here. Bah!)
I spend a lot of time on the computer too. I enjoy it because I am an information junkie, but deep inside I also know I could and should use some of the time on other important activities, like exercise and household chores…heh. So sometimes I do feel guilty about spending too much time here. But what to do? I am embracing my inner nerd.
I know where you’re coming from. In 1997, pregnant for the first time, I joined an online board for mums who were due on the same date. We kept in touch until our “babies” were around 5.
It was so cool when pregnant to know how some other mum EXACTLY AS PREGNANT AS ME was feeling. No doctor or RL contact could do this.
The wisdom, joy, laughter and companionship was great.
Could I talk to my RL mummy friends at playgroup about it and pass on any of the wisdom? Nope. I used to just say “a friend with a kid the same age as J. said…”. I never mentioned the online board part of it…explaning that community bonding and geeking it on a keyboard could go together was just too hard.
Interestingly….Out of 200 or so regular worldwide posters, one of them was also a librarian, in the next suburb and on the same homebirth program as me.
JL, for me it helps that there’s not a lot else I could or should be doing.. 🙂
Sirexkat, I find I’ve started to do that now – refer to just “friends” rather than saying “online friends” – after all, I don’t distinguish between “friends I have known for years” or “friends I met at the Fremantle markets” or whatever… And recently in the New Scientist: “There is growing evidence that communicating online is more conducive to openness than a face-to-face rendezvous. “We tend to interact differently online,” says Ren Reynolds, a virtual-world consultant based in the UK. “We tend to be more honest, more intimate with people.” ” (29 April 2006) The article was talking about online romance, but this honesty and intimacy also extends to non-romantic friendships as well, I reckon!
There are lots of opportunities for feeling defensive about computer usage and blogging. Sad to say, I’ve felt more likely to do this since I moved back to Australia from the US. But I don’t want to feel defensive any more. Excepting family and close friends, I really don’t care if people want to believe that I’m a computer nut or nerd or whatever their label of choice is. Life is too short to go about changing people who don’t get it and don’t want to get it. I’m all for engaging in a dialogue with people who are sceptical about technology, so long as they’re just slightly open-minded.
Morgan, you are quite right, of course 🙂 It is a complete waste of energy and time to worry about the uninformed reactions of such people.
It’s been really good for me to have my thoughts validated by all of these comments, actually. Therapy by blogging! 🙂