At this point in the proceedings, I’m glad this has never been a librarian’s blog or a blog about librarians or librarianship.
Sure, if I dig back here and there I’ll be able to find a few posts where I mention my job and obliquely post about the process of librarianing, but that’s never been my focus. So, given that the next stage of the adventure is going to be somewhat different, I’m glad that retooling this blog (because it doesn’t match the story) isn’t going to be needed.
What do I mean by different? Well, after my surgery last year I spent a bit of time recovering and sitting in a chair with myself. And I realised how bored I was, and fed up with what I do for a job. Since 2020 a bit of the joy – if I can call it that – or my enjoyment in my work – seemed to have seeped away.
I was never one of those people who would get to Sunday evening and feel the oppressive dread of Monday morning looming over me. I can recall looking forward to starting a new project, or thinking about something I’m working on and figuring out how to get around something that’s been a bit difficult or whatever. But here’s the thing: I used to enjoy it.
What happened? 2020 happened. I envy all those people who made sourdough bread and started home yoga practice and whatnot during lockdown. For me 2020 was the Year of Microsoft Teams. Back-to-back Teams meetings. Phew. I don’t want to think about it, just thinking about 2020 is making me relive the exhaustion.
So while recovering from my heart surgery last year, I had time to think, and realised that the exhaustion I felt after 2020 and throughout 2021 had faded, but hadn’t completely gone away. You know when the flood recedes and leaves a film of mud and muck and maybe damages what’s left behind… I feel like that, like that tiredness continues to stain everything and if it was a coat it would be wearable but kind of ruined and I’d want to take it off and stuff it in a bin and leave it behind and GET A NEW ONE.
My employment contract expires at the end of this year and I started thinking about what I ought to do next. Did I want to negotiate a new contract? What about a new job?
It was a bit of a weird feeling when I realised I just didn’t want to do it any more1. That I need a change, even if I have no idea what that change entails – just a strong desire to draw a line under it and start afresh. Do something different – figure out something different to do2. So that’s what I’ll be doing next: after I finish up at my job in early July, I’ll be on leave until mid-December and then officially unemployed. I am looking forward to it.
6 Comments
I think that one beauty of this profession is that there are so many directions you can take. You can take the so-called tradition route up the chain in a given organisation / sector. But as you undoubtedly already know from your professional peers, there are so many fascinating opportunities that you might never have considered and already have the experience and skills to take on.
They’re so hard to plan for, but when the right opportunity comes your way I’m sure you’ll recognise it right away and jump at it. I’m so excited for you! 🙂
Thanks Andrew. I have no idea what I’ll do next, but I look forward to exploring and finding out.
thanks for sharing your thoughts Con, and for sharing your heath journey. I appreciate your openness. I bet a lot of us have thought this very question, which makes it an important read.
Hello Hana, long time no see! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Con. I have always enjoyed following you here and your work, so I’m looking forward to reading about what you get up to next. Take care, Alisa
Thanks for stopping by, Alisa!